Why I should have had more kids

Finally! All the clothes for rush are purchased. Tessa had to buy more clothes this year to be on the initiated side of the sorority than last year when she was trying to impress everyone into offering her a bid to join. A dress of a specific color (can't mention what color because the rush wardrobe is a secret until rush week) with matching shoes-any shoes will do, as long as they are brown or metallic, but not tacky metallic, and no wedges. And who sells chocolate brown dresses in July? Oops, did I say brown? Anyway, isn't that a winter color? There are a million little black dresses out there, but noooo chocolate brown ones. We finally found the perfect chocolate brown dress, but only after dragging her into a store she wouldn't ordinarily be caught entering. I suggested she cut the tag out so no one will ever know she set foot in Dress Barn. Oops. I did it again. Good thing her sorority sisters don't read a middle-aged woman's blog. Her secrets would all be out. Still lots to do before she's off to "spirit week" on Sunday. In the alternate universe that is sorority life, all 90 girls pack into a house meant to sleep about 60 for one week of "fun" before actual rush begins. If they don't kill each other first, they'll be friends for life. Presumably on the agenda: Practicing walking down the central staircase in heels while simultaneously singing and trying to remember the name of the PNM (potential new member) you are paired up with for this round; exactly how to cuff those dark wash jeans for maximum cuteness; how to wear pearls without looking like your mother (not that HER mother wears pearls.)

We were laying on my big bed last night chatting before I nodded off and Tessa went to do whatever she does in the wee hours of the night, when she reminded me of just how few hours we have left before she's gone again and the house is quiet. While Mark and I truly enjoy the empty nest thing we've got goin' on, there's always a period of melancholy and sadness when she leaves. Angela has been gone for a while now. Tessa's making that transition to independence. Kinda makes me wish we'd had more kids. I've been trying to think of what advice I can give her that would actually stick. Apparently "make your bed every day, study hard, get enough sleep" wasn't particularly effective. "Write your own story" is what has been rattling around in my head recently. Feeling pressure to be like anyone else is really just time wasted. So while you're learning to live in the house that estrogen built, I hope you remember it's your story and no one else's. Write it well. Write it with passion. Write it with beauty. But make it your own.

It's freakin' hot!

It's too effing hot to do anything!

Or more eloquently put...

"What dreadful hot weather we have. It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance." Jane Austen

Flaming June by Frederick Lord Leighton

Circular Sunday lunch convo:

• Angela: I wanna swim with dolphins.
• Andy: I wanna swim with sharks.
• Riley: I wanna swim with Koi.
• Andy: I have a friend named Coy.

Soundtrack for Life

I forget in my busy-busyness to listen to music. It's one of the first things to go when the margins in life get thin. If I could have a soundtrack to a great day, it would go something like what's currently in my iPod.

Already hit the snooze button too many times, needing a little audio-caffeine - Black & Gold by Sam Sparro or something perky from Feist.

Putting on my face and doing my hair while watching the dogs in their "today is the day I'll actually catch a squirrel" game out the window by my dressing table - Dream or Leave the Light On by Priscilla Ahn.

Hot coffee and my Bible on the oh-so-awesome newly finished sunporch - Hymn by Brooke Fraser, or House of God, Forever by Jon Foreman.

Bass cranked, top down on the convertible (thanks Tessa), rocking to Mercy by Duffy (and another thanks to Tessa). This one has to be LOUD!

Controlled chaos of my office - Viva la vida or Strawberry Swing by Coldplay

A little evening recreational dancing in my kitchen - Gimme More or Hot As Ice- Britney Spears. Yes, you CAN swing dance to Brit.

Bedtime- Wind down with A Mirror is Harder to Hold with Jon Foreman or crank it up with the sexy, sultry sound of Drink You Sober by bitter:sweet. (Yes, children, there is a Santa Claus, the Easter Bunnie gave you all those quarters, that clay bowl you made in 3rd grade is beautiful, and your parents never, ever...)

My soundtrack for tomorrow? Something new, 'cause I like to keep moving.

I am an island

I've been on the road again - The weekend was spent in Cherokee. Right in the middle of the historic Cherokee Strip, it's a part of Oklahoma I hadn't seen, other than flying through on northbound I-35 on the way to Kansas. You definitely have to go to Cherokee on purpose. You don't get there for any other reason.

So I have a confession. I'm just not a people person. Stop snorting, my loved ones. You were waiting for something really juicy. You already knew that and you still love me. Then why do I feel guilty about it? Being surrounded by people 24-7 is an energy drain to me. Being by myself with my computer or a good book - major energy gain. So when I am out with the dental van, I often find myself RUNNING for the hotel after a full day of volunteers and patients and staff. Chatty chat chat. Smile and be perky. Act like you care. Ugh.

The truth is, I've made some amazing friends along the way. I'm not sure where the wall comes from. Well, actually I know where some of it comes from, given that my adult life has been something of a rollercoaster, but that's for another time. Mostly I just think it's nature more than nurture and I should get over it.

For the trip to Cherokee I knew I was going to be in close quarters with folks for a full 48 hours, so I prayed and pepped-talked before going. And actually, it was rewarding. People in Cherokee were sweet and friendly and genuinely glad to see us there. The staff was great! I was a little concerned because the dentist with me was an African American in rural Oklahoma. She got some looks and some attitude here and there, but for the most part, people behaved themselves.

It helped that Karen Hawkins, Chair of the Board for Great Salt Plains Health Center, where we were serving, was welcoming and gracious. A politician to the bone, she was once the town mayor, knows everyone in town, and now owns the Cherokee Inn and neighboring restaurant, Cherokee Station.

If you go, I'd recommend starting the day at Ms. Dottie's Cafe for breakfast. All the local folks go there for good reason. Then take a trip to nearby Great Salt Plains State Park. For dinner, head to the Cherokee Station. The steaks are great - raised by Lon and Karen Hawkins of course.

Thought I'd share some pics taken by Marsha Price from Woodward. Thanks Marsha! Wish I had a fraction of your energy!

iPhone G3

I bought (well, my employer paid for it) an iPhone last year when they first came out and I LOVE it. But now I keep getting emails like the following from Apple:

"iPhone G3
Twice as Fast. Half the Price
Available Friday at 8:00 a.m."

Here's what I internalize when I see this email:

"iPhone -original
Twice as expensive. Half as Fast
Suckaaaaaa"

Is their target audience really those of us who bought an iPhone in the past year? What are we gonna do - give our $400 phones to our 12 year old pre-teens and rush out to buy another one? I think I'll be keeping mine. Go find someone else to taunt!

Oops, I'm sorry

I guzzled the decaf soy caramel machiato and forgot I was supposed to share it with Mark.

Hi, my name is Cari. I'm a Starbucks addict.

Hi Cari.

Childlike

How many times have you heard an adult look at a busy, busy child and say "wouldn't you like to harness that energy?" Somebody did! Trevor Field from PlayPumps invented a merry-go-round that pumps water from a well. Now it's used in South Africa to provide water where there was none. Kids spin, water gets pumped. No more walking for hours just to carry a bucket or two of polluted water from a river or shallow well. Then there's Dr. Raj Pandian. He invented a seesaw and swing that generate electricity. Every minute a child swings provides one minute of power on a computer. I wonder what could they do with all that energy the dog uses up licking herself. And licking me. And licking the floor. Can they harness that?

Then there's Plumpy'nut, a high protein, high energy peanut based food product. It has had unbelievable success in famine areas, pulling children dying of malnutrition back from the brink of starvation. Who thinks of this stuff! Ready-to-Use Therapeutic Food (RUTF) has saved thousands, according to Project Peanut Butter. So those kids that only want to eat PB&Js for every lunch, every day, aren't far off the mark.

What about the so called hole-in-the-wall experiment where computers with internet access were put in openings in brick walls in public places in villages and slums in India. Children who had never seen or used a computer taught themselves and each other to use it and were surfing the internet in just a few days.

What I get from all that is to think like a child! Do great ideas come from a clear, uncluttered mind? Do we try too hard to figure out the problems of the world when the answers are right there in front of us on the playground? Seems that way. I've spent more days than I care to remember in the largest slum in Africa, where children could have made use of all of these inventions. I hope the wealth spreads.

Contentment

I wrote this a few years back and came across it this weekend. Thought I'd share.

One-person’s opinion: An essay to myself

No one ever drifted towards holiness…or financial peace…I’m pretty sure no one ever drifted towards contentment or a happy marriage either. All of the above require action to achieve and maintain.

Today I choose to celebrate what we have and not what we’ve lost. I choose to overcome my frustration with lack of spending money and a nice house, and declare a high joy-to-stuff ratio. Conspicuous austerity, inconspicuous consumption, voluntary simplicity…these are the new banners under which I live. Consider this thought:

“Our society is more troubled by problems of overabundance. We are three times richer than in the 1950s, and diseases particular to ‘affluenza’ clog our social and individual arteries. We are more overworked, more stressed, more depressed and much fatter. ...
Critiques of affluenza go deeper than puritanical dismay at the aggressive vulgarity of materialism. The centrepiece of the argument is that we are obsessed privately with more income and better goods, and collectively with "growth" and "progress". Yet all the scholarly work on well-being shows that after passing a benchmark of real deprivation, greater prosperity does not lead to increased happiness.”—Anne Manne, "Sell Your Soul And Spend, Spend, Spend," Syndey Morning Herald, April 14, 2003

Surely in our unusual, unordinary journey as a family we have learned one thing at least, and that is that we can live on very little and still live a rich and beautiful life. Here’s to prosperity in the future, and a deep, deep contentment in the present.

Cari/Mom

July 4th in Bethany

I have a love/hate relationship with Bethany. Crappy houses, curb-less streets, absentee landlords. Is it really necessary to put your cast-off Lazy-Boy recliner out to rot in the yard? Big trash day isn't for another three months. Twice this year guns have been drawn on my block. The first, our own version of Miami Vice, with three armed, drugged up freaks putting a bullet through the front door of the house to the east, narrowly missing my neighbor. The second performance by Bethany Police, complete with screeching tires, pulled guns from behind the sudo-safety of an open car door, and commands to "put your %$#@ hands in the air or I'll shoot". That was on behalf of our neighbor to the west, who, a few months after his wife passed away, invited a hellion of a woman home after an apparently brain-cell killing night at the bar. The woman thereafter refused to leave and has been making his life a living hell every since. The drawn guns were the result of a restraining order. It's about time the guy got some help!

But sometimes Bethany is sweet, with a small town homeyness. Today we walked the three blocks from our house to Route 66, past the horses waiting in the shade, to watch the 4th of July parade. We got there just as the parade was starting, but still found seats on the bleachers on the manicured lawn of the Nazarene Church.

In front of us, a little boy with a summer buzz cut insisted on playing in the dirt, despite his mama's warnings to stop. I think I heard them call him Clayton. He paid for his fun with a whack on the rear end and a reprimand from mama - "If your daddy was here, he'd smack your butt!" Clayton was wearing a shirt with a picture of his daddy in military uniform on the front, and his mama had hand lettered the back with "I (heart) U Dad" and "My daddy is defending our freedom"

So I asked him where his daddy was. Clayton couldn't tell me, but his mama said Iraq. Pretty soon Clayton's mama, who has left him with his grandma for a minute, brings her cell phone over and says to Clayton -"wanna talk to daddy?" Daddy was on the phone, calling from Iraq. Then she hands the phone to grandma. Somewhere between "Hi son" and "Good-bye", we heard her say "Funny how the Fourth of July has a whole new meaning for us this year!" (OK- I didn't go to the parade with kleenex!) They are excited because the soldiers are getting to watch a fireworks show tonight, and Oklahoma's own Toby Keith is there to play a concert. Some lady further down the bleachers hears part of the conversation and yells out "where's Toby Keith playing tonight?" all excited like she's gonna go there if she can. Clayton's mama says "Iraq". Sober silence. All the air just got sucked out of Bethany.

God bless Clayton, and his daddy and mama and grandma. God bless Bethany, and God Bless America!

Not in my DNA

I didn't get the gardening gene. Nowhere in my genetic makeup is that longing to become one with the earth. I love a beautiful lawn and healthy, colorful flowers. I just want to pay someone to do it. Gardening hurts my back and knees, and gives me heartburn from bending over. I get all sweaty and dirty and the flies bite constantly. Seriously, where is the fun in that?

Jenks, OK- who knew?

We had a great little staycation Sunday and Monday. Phantom of the Opera at the Tulsa Performing Arts Center was amazing. Is it true that this was probably the third or fourth tier troupe that performs this Broadway show? Their voices were ridiculous. Perfect! Of course, the music is haunting and beautiful anyway. I almost cried it was so beautiful.

Afterwards I'd hoped to have some sushi for an early dinner, but In The Raw in the Brookside area of Tulsa is apparently closed. (I heard Mark mutter "thank the Lord!" You think I don't hear but I do!) So we found a sweet little Mexican restaurant with a covered patio and great food.Then off to Jenks. It's just south of Tulsa off of the Creek Nation Turnpike. We stayed at the only hotel next to the Aquarium. Since we've been trying to walk we were excited to see a paved walking path along the Arkansas River. Yay! While walking we kept hearing live music so when we were done sweating we cleaned up and walked the opposite direction to the Riverwalk Crossing. Lots of restaurants, live music in a couple of places, families and couples strolling along the river. We had a seat at one of the cafes and enjoyed the music as the sun went down. Who knew you could find that atmosphere in Jenks? Plus it was one of the rare low-humidity nights. Refreshing!!

On Monday the aquarium was a cool and relaxing way to spend a couple of hours on a hot day. The best part is the shark tank. Plus the Fishes of Oklahoma exhibit will make you never want to swim in an Oklahoma lake again. That's why when I water ski I spend a lot of time splashing and kicking while waiting for the boat to come pick me up. I don't want any of that wildlife to take an interest in me! 120 year old alligator snapping turtles? 110 pound, 7 foot catfish? Really?

Anyway, we're back to the real world today. I guess I can't complain too much since I have the week off.