I heart big trash day

My favorite day in Bethany is BIG TRASH DAY! Yeah! It's so cleansing to take all that stuff that is filling the garage, car port, back yard or front porch and put it out and watch it disappear. And disappear it does. It's a very efficient system.

• Step One: The City sets the date and advertises


• Step Two: Residents begin to pile unwanted belongings curbside (I use the term "curbside" loosley since few streets in Bethany actually have curbs. Let's just say they put their stuff somewhere in the vicinity of where the grass ends and the street begins.)


• Step Three: The City delays pickup waiting for Step Four.


• Step Four: Hardy and frugal folks begin trolling the neighborhoods with trucks and trailers, taking what they consider salvageable or saleable.


• Step Five: The City picks up the little that is left of the BIG TRASH.

This morning I drove around on a sort of scavenger hunt. I was curious if I could furnish a whole house from the BIG TRASH. I know. I'm sure there are more important things to do. I counted four couches, 11 chairs, 2 refrigerators, 1 freezer, a desk, several mattresses, an exercise bike, a shower door, a microwave...All within a half mile radius. Yep, I could furnish at least an apartment.

Every year I think Bethany will run out of BIG TRASH. But we seem to generate it like hairs on a menopausal woman's chin. The more you pluck, the more they appear. If I sound like I'm above BIG TRASH day, I'm not. One of the mattress sets (surprise, Tessa!) and the shower doors are in front of our house. Well, they were. They are in the back of some one's pickup now. I have to be careful at this time of year though. We sold all our beautiful furniture when we left Phoenix for Johannesburg. Now most of our furniture is from the Goodwill or is a relative's cast-off, and I'm always tempted to empty the house onto the curb on BIG TRASH day. Mark has to restrain me from dragging too much out the door. If I could get that couch out the door, I'd do it right now, but it's way too big. I wonder if the neighbor has a chain saw.

Big Love

OK so my neighbor just walked past in her jammies, with wet hair, carrying a towel. Really? I'm confused about which house they all live in. There are three lined up here across the street and they seem to move between all three like rooms in a house. It's like Big Love only on my block. I'm expecting to see Barb, Margene or Nicki walk by at any time. Yesterday they were moving pianos (plural) from one house to another. I'm like, um, did you just see a piano go by? And Mark's all, yep, a baby grand. We go back to watching Project Runway. The guy carrying the detached legs and the piano bench doesn't even earn a comment. By the time the upright piano rolls by we aren't even curious. Just another day in Bethany.

Shift in the Universe

Wow, I'm tired. Over the weekend we drove to Olathe, KS, where I grew up, to say our final good-byes to Grandpa Metz. He was 92 and had lived an amazing life. So the funeral was more of a celebration. Kind of a camp-meeting, hankie-waving, hymn-singing service. Now we are all sort of free to go our separate ways, no longer anchored to what was once our center of gravity. It's a strange feeling. I guess it's more like the center of gravity has now shifted. Four generations once orbited around the strength, history, love and duty associated with Grandma and Grandpa Metz. Now our focus shifts.

We're a smallish family as families go, so it's sort of shocking to us to have 11 great-grandchildren. The eldest, Angela, is almost 23. The youngest is Addison at 4 months. Now we're going to work that much harder to stay in touch. I think we're up to the task.

Visit to Olathe

Top Ten Things

When did you grow up and where was I while it happened? It's a balancing act maintaining a relationship with children who are young adults. Humor helps, I guess. So I was thinking of all the things one shouldn't say and do and came up with a list. These are things I would never say to you because a) they don't apply to you, and b) I'm just that awesome (shut up, I heard that). But in case other parents need some advice...

Top 10 Things NOT to say to your college student:

1. We decided to donate to the animal shelter in your name instead of giving you money this year. Happy Birthday!


2. I worked three jobs to put myself through college!


3. Where would you even park a car if you had one?


4. Your roommate has a nice boyfriend. Does he have any single friends?


5. I'm sure the dress you wore to Junior Prom will be fine for the fraternity formal.


6. Who is that boy in that picture and why is he doing that?


7. Don't take out any more school loans. You'll never make enough to repay them.


8. We thought we'd surprise you with a visit!


9. I put on weight too when I was your age.


10. I gave your phone number to the Pastor and told him to call you.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

Yes, it IS a beautiful day in the neighborhood. The birds are chirping, squirrels are starting to gather acorns from our oak tree, it's sunny and cool. The dogs are scratching themselves lazily in the shade of the pecan tree in the backyard and...wait, do I hear the sweet sound of police sirens? Semi-automatic weapons firing? Helicopters hovering in close proximity? Why yes I do, Mr. Rogers. It's another day in Bethany. For the third time this year, guns are drawn and shots fired in my neighborhood. OK, actually the guns were only fired on two of the three occasions that they were drawn, but seriously. We need to move. I don't feel threatened or unsafe at all, but the facts would say otherwise. Raise your hand if you've had a gun fired at a neighbor recently. Anyone turned on the TV and seen your house from a television news helicopter? Anyone? I didn't think so.