Weeds

I was planning to go to Stillwater to help out in the kitchen at Tessa's sorority today. It's rush week and somebody has to fill those water glasses!! But apparently they don't need me until tomorrow, so I have an unexpected free day. So then I was planning to sleep in until a luxurious hour but was rudely awakened by men unloading sheeting for a neighbors new roof. One (boom) sheet of plywood (boom) at a time (boom) dropping from the (boom) high bed of the (boom) truck to the (boom) ground for thirty (boom-freaking) minutes. So much for being decadent. Guess I'll go weed the frighteningly weedy flower bed.

Lessons on Leadership and Life Learned While Weeding the Flower bed.

Did I lose you already with that title? Hang on. It'll be fun. Have I ever bored you before? Don't answer that. I'm feeling a little thin-skinned these days.

Annnyyway, here's my list, because the brain has to do something while yanking weeds.

1) Don't wait until the heat is on

Weeding is fun until the sun jumps over the neighbor's house and leers down in all her searing glory. Just a minute ago I was noting the soft breeze and the lack of sweat and feeling all holier-than-thou about being up so early and channeling Martha Stewart when BOOM. The sun is up and the sweat is on.

The LLLL? (Lessons on Leadership and Life Learned...gotta love alliteration!)
The moment you become conscious of the fact you just patted yourself on the back for being such an awesome manager/parent/person, slather on the sunscreen because the heat is on even though you don't yet feel the burn. That's not being glass-is-half-empty. That's being realistic. To avoid the sweat, take the time while it's cool and calm to proactively pull the weeds. Start early. Or better yet, mulch to avoid the weeds in the first place. Start the day doing the big picture stuff. Then when the sun comes up you'll be safely in the shade drinking your mimosa. Stephen Covey's 7 Habits never go out of style. The first three habits apply here.

Habit 1: Be Proactive
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
Habit 3: Put First Things First


Also read: Julie Morgenstern's "Never Check Email in the Morning".

2) Don't let the dogs out

I'm trying to weed and meditate but Winnie keeps nudging my arm, begging for attention. She's needy this week since we are taking care of the grand-puppy. God forbid four adults should divide our attention between (gasp) two dogs. While not being needy, the dogs are barking at cats, real or imagined. Since I'm weeding under the in-laws bedroom window, I'm trying to shush the dogs with a commanding whisper. Every parent has mastered the whithering look and commanding whisper. Turns out neither is helpful when dealing with dogs. When they aren't barking or pooping, they are walking through the flowerbed. Why did I let the dogs out?

The LLLL?
Who are the dogs that keep me from doing my thing? Who or, more likely, what is distracting, needy, sabotaging, attention-diverting? Where or when do I waste my time shoveling the s*&t when I could be fertilizing?

See:
"Married to Distraction: Restoring Intimacy and Strengthening Your Marriage in an Age of Interruption"

"Defeating the 8 Demons of Distraction: Proven Strategies to Increase Productivity and Decrease Stress"

3) "Don't sweat the small stuff" is not always a good plan

The sun is up, it's hot, the dogs are needy, I clearly am running out of steam. So what's the plan? I think I'll just try to pull the biggest weeds to make the most obvious difference. I can't see the garden for the trees. No really. Those annoying starter trees that grow from little seed pods blown by the Oklahoma wind? Everywhere. But I am apparently constitutionally unable to pull the big stuff and ignore the smaller weeds choking the flowers. I want for at least a small portion of the garden to be weed free and beautiful. My mantra "just pull the big ones, just pull the big ones" is not working. I HAVE to go back and pull ALL the weeds in that section before moving on.

The LLLL?
Sometimes it's OK to focus on the minutia at the (temporary) expense of the big picture. Some wise person once said it's better to do a few things well than a bunch of stuff half-assed. Err, something like that. In a perfect world we would have time to do all things well. But this is definitely an imperfect world. And "things" have multiplied exponentially. So I'm thinking I'm gonna have to narrow it down, pick a few, focus. And what about those towering distractions? They'll die off on their own, I suppose. Even if I have to ignore them until the first frost.

Unsolicited Advice

Tessa was home this weekend. Although she was sick and missed most of the Easter festivities, I still had the opportunity to offer some unsolicited advice. Because that's my job as Mom and Head General Manager of my children's universe. Truthfully, I gave up trying to manage their universe about the time they went off to college. I really don't have much leverage. I mean, what can I do, take away car keys, limit television, enforce a curfew? Not from long distance. I figure I did what I could in the first 20 years and it's up the them now. But I sometimes can't resist throwing little tidbits of wisdom in here and there.

Which got me to wondering what things my mother tried to tell me when I wasn't listening. And because it's Monday and you know what I love on a Monday. Everybody in unison. Because on a Monday Cari loves...all together now..."a good list".

5 Things My Mother Probably Told Me While I Wasn't Listening

1. Wear more lipstick. Life needs more color.
2. There's no such thing as "safe" sex.
3. Don't wait for a Prince Charming to rescue you. Sometimes you have to rescue yourself before your prince will seem charming.
4. Donuts make you fat.
5. Sometimes life sucks, sometimes it doesn't. Get over yourself.

What did your mother say when you weren't listening?

I heart lists

Lists are my friends. We understand each other. Although I rarely actually write my lists down on paper, there is a running list in my head at all times. It's hard to be at peace or to lounge in front of the TV with that long list in my head, but I somehow manage - at least the TV watching thing.

My list for today? Grout the shower (yes, if you've read my blogs or twitters you think I already grouted the shower. Long story, but today I need to grout the part that got ungrouted), caulk the shower (same long story), hang the towel rack, hang the shower curtain (more time consuming than you think since I tried to cheap it out and buy a shower curtain rod at Habitat for Humanity's Renovation Station - my home away from home - but it's too long and the instructions say you can just cut off an inch with a hack saw, but of course I can't find the hack saw), hang a curtain in my bedroom, clean up the renovation scattering of tools and paint supplies, try to figure out how to unclog the drain that got clogged with debris from the bathroom renovation despite our best efforts to not clog the drain, call the female relatives to see if they want to go to brunch tomorrow (if you're reading this, call me). That's my inside list.

My out-of-the-house list includes dragging Tessa to the eye glass store to buy new glasses because we still have money in our health reimbursement account and if we don't' spend it by the end of December we lose it, and picking up a few last minute gifts at three different places.

Then there's the list of things that never get done but are still lurking in the back of my brain to throw rocks and rob me of my peace. Clean off my desk and put some order to the papers (yes, I've read ALL the self-help books and articles on organizing but that doesn't mean I actually do it), bathe the dogs, write Christmas cards, organize the family photos, exercise, blah blah blah.

Then there's the work list, but I'm off for a week, so I'm not even going to think about that one.

When Tessa gets overwhelmed mid-semester and calls home complaining of too much to do, I always recommend making a list. She's never impressed. When Mark forgets to buy an important ingredient at the grocery store, I remind him he should have made a list. He's always grateful for my advice. At least Angela has learned to share my love of lists. We also share a passion for office products. We LOVE Post-it notes, paper clips, staplers.

Speaking of lists, I forgot one item on my "What not to get for Christmas" list. It's the Butt-Face towel. One end says "butt", the other "face" in case you forget which cheek you dried where. Personally I use two towels, one for the head/hair region, and one for the neck-down region so I don't have that problem. But if your loved one is a one-toweler and likes to reuse towels to save the environment, then it's something to think about. Or not think about, now that I think about it. Eeeww.