Saturday, October 4, 2008

Spandex is my friend

Battling depression is an ongoing theme in my life, as if you didn’t already know that. I’ve discovered though that the emotion or feeling that shoves me over the cliff in the time it takes to breathe in and breathe out is feeling powerless. And I’m not powerless. It’s a nifty little trick by the enemy of our souls. Whatever the circumstance that tempts me to wrap myself in my well-used, comfy victim sweater can be reacted to by shoving aside that worn, moth-eaten garment and choosing the shiny, Teflon-coated power suit. Tahdah! I’m instantly in stupid-people deflecting spandex. (Oh, didn’t I mention my power suit is silver spandex with a big pink “C” on the front? What? You just threw up in your mouth? )

Anyway, mean people suck, some people are certifiably crazy, Board members make thoughtless decisions, hard work often goes unnoticed and unappreciated, schedules get too full. But it can all just slide off me in my power suit if I choose. At least that’s the theory and today I need to believe the theory.

Speaking of certifiable, I’m so schizophrenic when it comes to my work life. I enjoy hard work. I thrive on leadership. I gain energy by creating and improving. I often seek more responsibility and greater authority. Then there are the days when all I want to do is to stay at home, create websites, write a novel, and decoupage everything in site. Seriously, how can one person be so double-minded? Please tell me you are sometimes double-minded.

2 comments:

Angela said...

testing comment

Shari said...

Some days I wish to be secretary of education and live in DC. But most days I just want to go home at a decent hour and plant some pots, or (gasp) clean my house! I think that means I'll never be Madam Secretary!