Sunday, November 29, 2009

Lord help us!

Can I be honest? I mean really honest. Living with dementia is no fun. Living with someone who suffersfrom dementia, to be more accurate, although I often suffer from severe fuzz-brain-ness myself.

The precious mother-in-law is sinking deeper into a world where we cannot follow. Some days it - the beast of dementia- manifests itself as a little confused but cute and looking out at a world that is all sweetness and light. And then there is yesterday. Wow. I mean. Wow.

On days like yesterday there is no redirecting, no reasoning, no hugs or kind words that can stop the river of mean and ugly. And the thing we all know is, it's not her. It's not the mother and grandmother we all know and love. It's a disease that has attacked and betrayed her, and us along with it.

I've already asked forgiveness from my husband for the future actions of my demented mind. Should I be run down by the same beast, may you all remember me as I once was, and not as I may be if my body and/or mind becomes my enemy instead of my friend. Let's grab the moments now to hug and laugh and play so that we can face the future with the strength and courage that comes from a lifetime of love.


Stephen said...

What a bummer for everyone involved. OK, "bummer" doesn't quite cover it, does it?

May peace prevail.

jenX said...

oh, how horrible, cari. i do understand. there are good days and bad days. praying for my good. you're a blessing to have taken her into your home. *prayers* beautiful pic by the way.