Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Deconstructing Cari

I'm pulling up the couch for this post. You're the therapist, I'm the patient.

Me: So Doc, if I hated my previous job - well, hate is a strong word - but if I was constantly super super stressed at my previous job, and I have all kinds of ideas in my head for starting my own business, and I've actually already started a nonprofit with my sister, then why am I irresistibly drawn to looking for a "real" job?

You: Well, let's explore that. How does how does that make you feel?

Me: I guess I like the security of having a paycheck and the confidence that comes with having an actual job title in an actual company that folks might recognize.

You: Good, good. And how does that make you feel?

Me: Um, insecure?

You: Now we're getting somewhere. How does that make you feel?

OK enough of the role playing. I'm about ready to punch you. You should never have become my involuntary therapist! But really, I find myself drawn like a magnet to the security and stability of a "real" job. And then there's the no health care thing.

Every time I bring this topic up with Mark he's all "I thought we already had this discussion". Well yes. Yes we did. And I'm allowed to waffle! So how do I demagnetize myself? How do I push past the need for security and free fall into a commitment to self-employment? Any ideas? Anyone?


Stephen said...

What kind of self-employment do you have in mind? Or is indecision/lack of inspiration the problem? I've dreamed of owning my own company for most of my adult life. If you can make it happen, then by all means jump on it before you wind up in another life-sucking dead end job.
P.S. - Friends sometimes hint that I can be blunt at times. I like to think of it as "honest". Hopefully that's the way it comes across. :-)

Stephen said...

P.P.S. - Your recent experiences with the homeless struck me as God making a suggestion; the timing seemed more than mere chance.

Stephen said...

Well, did you start a fab new nonprofit (or forprofit) yet?