Monday, November 3, 2008


I don't want to share. Yes, I know I'm supposed to. But what's mine is mine, and what's yours is yours. In reality, moms get used to sharing. Even though they are basically grown, my daughters still occasionally want to share my makeup, my shoes, my laundry soap, my car. And of course I'm happy to share those things. But I'm struggling with sharing one thing. I'm afraid to say it. You might judge. I don't want to share my daughter and her husband with another family for holidays and other special days. There. I said it. I'm a terrible person. I'm really trying to be a good mother-in-law. But Thanksgiving is right around the corner, then comes Christmas. And already the balancing act has begun.

Me: We're planning on Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma's with all the fam. Does that work for you?

A&R: Um, well. Probably. We also have to go to his Grandparents for their big family dinner.

Me: What time are they planning dinner? We can be flexible.

A&R: Hmm, not sure. I guess we should find out. Oh, and his Dad's new wife's parents are planning on us coming by sometime that day.

Me: Well, your sister and your cousin will be home from college and will want to see you. (politely, with a smile)

A&R: Oh, the cousin's leaving the morning of Thanksgiving to drive back to school with HER boyfriends family.

Me: Ugh. Sigh. How about Wednesday? Can you pencil us in then?

I don't even want to THINK about Christmas yet. And we had a similar conversation about celebrating her upcoming birthday. Seriously. I'm not very good at this. I'm not good at planning ahead anyway, but having to get dibs in on the kids for special occasions...major buzz kill.

I just showed them this blog and they said "you should try being the ones that get passed around". Yep. I know. That's why I try really hard to be happy with what I get. Seriously! I do. But I still don't like to share!


Tessa said...

The ones passed around!! Try being the lame-o who gets to be an only child hanging out with one set of parents because she is being punished for being single.

Cari said...

Oh, but then you wouldn't get spoiled like any only-child should. This way you get ALL the attention!

Shari said...

After 13 years of passing my precious children back and forth to their father for holidays, I'm somewhat resigned, though never happy about it. I never did get used to it, but at least I've had years of practice! So, how about Wednesday for our "official" Thanksgiving?